Baby Proofing Your Marriage – Part One
I recently listened to a podcast on baby proofing your marriage and it made me think about some things my husband and I could do to prepare our marriage for our second child. When we got pregnant with Elli, everyone told us to go ahead and start planning on a date night once a week.
Basically they were telling us to hire a babysitter one night a week and have some “us” time. I will say that when I was pregnant, that sounded good and it sounded reasonable and we said we would do it. Elli is almost two years old now and we still do not have an official date night set aside once a week. We have certainly had dates and time alone, but not an official one night a week date. I do believe that the best gift we can give our children is a strong, healthy marriage and I am firmly committed to doing just that.
However, I have also learned that a date night once a week may not be completely realistic. We do have babysitters that we adore, but babysitters cost money. If you were to pay a babysitter $9 an hour (and I’m not sure that is enough) for three hours you have already spent $27 on your date night. If you factor in a $20 meal (which would be cheap) and maybe a cup a coffee at a local shop, you are looking at a $57 evening. For us, this is something that we simply cannot afford once a week. So how do you do it? How do you ensure time alone on a much cheaper scale?
For us, we work to have Elli in the bed by 7:30 or 8:00. During the week, once Elli is asleep, we each have our own chores to do and work to accomplish. However, we are working to ensure that at least one night on the weekend, once Elli is asleep, we sit down together. We might watch a movie on TV or a DVRed television show; we might have a late take-out dinner; or maybe make a box of brownies together. Even though we are not out of the house, we are able to quietly enjoy each other’s company. The key for us is to ensure that we actually do this instead of working late into the night on computer work and household chores. That is our take on “date night.”
Do you have suggestions for a cheap date night? How do you baby proof your marriage?
I absolutely love the way you put this, “I do believe that the best gift we can give our children is a strong, healthy marriage and I am firmly committed to doing just that.”
I am of the mentality that a marriage is not just between husband and wife, it is the foundation of a family. While it is definitely nice to have dates with the man you love, I personally feel it would be a better use of time to have a weekly FAMILY night. Make a good meal, and find an age appropriate activity for you and your husband to do with your kids. For a two year old, that might just be coloring or reading stories, but it will help keep your family unit strong. And when you have the funds and desire to have a date night, make it happen. But $60/ week on date night is out of the question for us too.
Carlene I agree that family night is a good idea! I think it will be especially important as Elli and her brother get older. I also love to try and plan some sort of activity that we can do every so often just to get away from the house. It can be so hard to focus on being together when dishes are in the sink and beds need making…so a trip to the aquarium, park, or a bike ride together make family time so much more focused. I think finding a balance is the idea – spending time just with your spouse helps keep the “dating” going and helps keep the marriage exciting. The key I think is to balance that with the family night and finding ways to do it that won’t break the bank!!