Second Pregnancy – More Fears?!
My old college roommate called to check on my pregnancy this week. I love it when she calls because she is such a great source for encouragement and advice. She has a three year old and a one year old so she helps prepare me for having a two year old and an infant.
After our conversation, I started thinking about just how much things are going to change. During this pregnancy I haven’t been as worried about labor or breastfeeding, I haven’t read every book on newborns, and I haven’t been Googling every single pregnancy issue.
Still, I think I am more scared this time around. I now know how much a baby changes everything – I realize that sleep is a rare occurrence that I can’t count on – I realize that time to myself during the first few months will be few and far between. And I have a new fear as well; I fear how this will impact my daughter. Sometimes when we are playing baby dolls together or talking a walk in her stroller this fear creeps into my mind where I start to wonder if I will be able to handle it all? Will I still be able to still give her the time, attention, and love she needs while trying to nurse, soothe, and care for an infant? I worry that she might feel slighted, confused, or less important. I worry that I will be too hard on myself if she doesn’t get to go to the park one day or visit the pool as often. I know deep down that Elli will be a wonderful big sister because she will love Smaller Waller just as much as I do. I know that there are moms out there balancing this all the time and doing a wonderful job, but I still find the fears creeping into my mind. So I may be an “experienced” mom and this might be my second pregnancy, but I realized this week that I am probably more fearful than ever.
How do you do it? How do you maintain some semblance of normalcy for your older children when you bring home a new sibling?
