“I’ve Lost My Mojo!”
I miss the old us sometimes.
I’m not sure if this is even appropriate to write about, but it’s really something that’s been hard to deal with. The Post-Partum Depression has left the building (for the most part), but what I haven’t told anyone is that things aren’t exactly back to normal in the bedroom. It’s my fault too. At the end of the day sex is the furthest thing from my mind. Actually, it’s never ever on my mind. I’m not sure what’s happened. I want nothing to do with it. Could it be hormones? It’s funny because up until this week I just thought it was normal, but my husband seems pretty concerned and I don’t blame him!
He pointed out that we have barely had sex since I got pregnant. He understands the whole pregnancy thing and even a few months post-partum, but it’s been 9 months since Addison was born and still…nada. Not even men on TV are attractive. This can’t be normal. Or is it?
I set off to see what I could find on the web and the answers on forum and multiple mommy sites were overwhelming: It is normal to lose your sex drive after you have a child. What I want to know is when it comes back. Sex is a big part of a relationship and the fact that we’re not having any is hurting our marriage for sure. I also found something else and I’m not sure how true it is, but it seems like breastfeeding greatly affects libido. There have been articles that show when women stop breastfeeding, they can’t seem to get enough! I hope to begin weaning at 12 months so I can return to work and school easier and I’m counting on this being true so we can get back to normal.
I’m hoping to get some feedback from other moms, especially breastfeeding mothers. I know it’s very personal, but I thought it would help if I put it out there first to see what kind of responses I received. If you have the same problem and don’t want to comment, just know that you are not alone! The good news is that sex drive does seem to eventually return. I’m just not sure when…
I think it is very common for the there to be issues. I asked my doctor about the breastfeeding too and honestly when I stopped breastfeeding my daughter (she was one year) it did make a huge difference. Give yourself time! I just happened to listen to this podcast yesterday…it might have some good information for you..
http://www.pregtastic.com/sex-during-and-after-pregnancy/
I think the problem for me when breastfeeding was I already felt like everyone was “using” my body and when she wasn’t eating, it was hard to want to let anyone else near me. I am not a doctor, but I do think these feelings go away – they did for us.
I can relate. I’m 31 weeks pregnant and my libido has been shot for a couple of months. I try to put myself in a sexy mood for my husband’s sake, but if it was just up to me, I could go the rest of my life without sex. Your husband is a good man for understanding, but don’t be afraid to seek some professional help if the problem persists.
Have you considered using some herbal teas or natural remedies to help with the issue? Horny Goat Weed (yes, that’s actually what it’s called) is reported to be an aphrodisiac.
My libido disappeared almost as soon as I found out I was pregnant with my daughter and didn’t return until here very recently. She’s 2 1/2 (31 months), and we have an eight month old son. Believe it or not, my mom gave me the advice that worked. It sounds miserable, but it worked for me. She told me even when I didn’t want to, do it. My mood would change after things got started and now I’m feeling like I’m 17 again and wishing my husband didn’t work so much
Good luck, and don’t be hard on yourself, there’s nothing sexier than confidence! 
I definitely had that same problem, but I just kind of gritted my teeth and did it anyway, for the sake of my husband. After a few weeks of that, the sex drive started to improve.